Guess Who Else Is Bipolar ???

Here is a list of some pretty famous people that you might not think were bipolar or otherwise...

Actors & Actresses

Ned Beatty
Jim Carey
Lisa Nicole Carson
Rosemary Clooney, singer
Lindsay Crosby
Eric Douglas
Robert Downey Jr.
Patty Duke
Carrie Fisher
Connie Francis, singer and actress
Shecky Greene, comedian
Linda Hamilton
Moss Hart, actor, director, playright
Mariette Hartley
Margot Kidder
Vivien Leigh
Kevin McDonald, comedian
Kristy McNichols
Burgess Meredith, actor, director
Spike Milligan, actor, writer
Spike Mulligan, comic actor and writer
Nicola Pagett
Ben Stiller, actor, director, writer
David Strickland
Lili Taylor
Tracy Ullman
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Robin Williams
Jonathon Winters, comedian

Musicians

Ludwig van Beethoven, composer
Alohe Jean Burke, musician, vocalist
Rosemary Clooney, singer
DMX Earl Simmons, rapper and actor
Ray Davies
Lenny Dee
Gaetano Donizetti, opera singer
Peter Gabriel
Jimi Hendrix
Kristen Hersh (Throwing Muses)
Phyllis Hyman
Jack Irons
Daniel Johnston
Otto Klemperer, musician, conductor
Oscar Levant, pianist, composer, television
Phil Ochs, musician, political activist, poet
John Ogden, composer, musician
Jaco Pastorius
Charley Pride
Mac Rebennack (Dr. John)
Jeannie C. Riley
Alys Robi, vocalist in Canada
Axl Rose
Nick Traina
Del Shannon
Phil Spector, musician and producer
Sting, Gordon Sumner, musician, composer
Tom Waits, musician, composer
Brian Wilson, musician, composer, arranger
Townes Van Zandt, musician, composer


Writers

Louis Althusser, philosopher, writer
Honors de Balzac
Art Buchwald, writer, humorist
Neal Cassady
Patricia Cornwell
Margot Early
Kaye Gibbons
Johann Goethe
Graham Greene
Abbie Hoffman, writer, political activist
Kay Redfield Jamison, writer, psychologist
Peter Nolan Lawrence
Frances Lear, writer, editor, women's rights activist
Rika Lesser, writer, translator
Kate Millet
Robert Munsch
Margo Orum
Edgar Allen Poe
Theodore Roethke
Lori Schiller, writer, educator
Frances Sherwood
Scott Simmie, writer, journalist
August Strindberg
Mark Twain
Joseph Vasquez, writer, movie director
Mark Vonnegut, doctor, writer
Sol Wachtler, writer, judge
Mary Jane Ward
Virginia Woolf

Pretty interesting huh?

How It All Began A bipolargrls story

I never told the story of how it all began, did I? I mean my being diagnosed with Bipolar. Well to fully understand I'll have to go back to when I was born...
I was born in a small village in the East part of Berlin and one day..................No, just kidding...

No my story begins when I was 28 years old. The date: September 1999... I had been married about three years then and my only son was in the 5th grade.

For the past two or three years for 7-10 days out of every month I was in agony, literally. It was so bad that I would pass out from the pain. I had several major surgeries to try and alleviate the problem, but it just kept coming back. The only option was a full Hysterectomy. I really hate that damn word. Now I had already had two children from previous relationships, but not any with my husband, so this was hard for me because it meant not having any with him. But, I really had no choice in the matter. It was either bleed to death, get cancer, or be in agony all the time. I chose the surgery.

So a couple of weeks later I was in the hospital recovering. Do you know where they put women who have undergone a Hysterectomy? The Maternity ward...yep that's right....women who have probably been trying for a child, or for other reasons and they put you on the freak'n maternity ward. Then on top of that they tell you to get up and walk around the halls and where do you think you walk by on that dreaded trip? Right by the room where they keep all the babies. Oh joy joy...I was so distraught after my walk I collapsed on my bed and refused to get up until it was time to leave.

But that's not the problem I had. When I woke up in my room after surgery, I couldn't feel my legs. Okay for some this may be ok, but for me (I am completely claustrophobic) so anything that is binding or I can't move in or tight or small spaces....you get the idea...I get panicky (is that a word?) anywho...I started to freak out, my husband would come over and try and move my legs for me but it didn't do any good because I couldn't feel it and that made it even worse. So my husband called in the nurse who then called the Anesthesiologist who was a complete asshole to me saying it was going to take time and this and that and kiss my ass...finally I agreed to just leave it as is. I made my husband go all the way home and get my favorite cd (charlie chaplin) the music from the movie and my cd player. I only made it through the night by listening to the music and concentrating on that and then finally I was able to fall asleep. My doctor came in the next morning and said she heard I was giving everyone a hard time....huh...who cares...I just had my female organs ripped out of me, I'm on the same floor with the babies I'll never be able to have again, and severe claustrophobia coupled with my inability to move my legs cause my distress. I am so sorry...NOT....Anyway she had the Anesthesiologist come in and remove the needle from my spine and put me on a morphin drip....wow, much better...la la land...

I was released that afternoon...which was bad because there had been a severe ice storm. Ok, so I can barely walk, it feels like my insides (what is left)are going to fall out of me at every step I take. Couple with the fact that there is a solid sheet of ice from where I am to the car...my husband had pulled up as close as possible, but oh well you get the point.

What would normally take twently minutes to get home; took almost two hours. By this time I'm thinking "God must really be pissed at me". We get home, I go straight to bed and that's where I stay for the next six weeks. With the exception of showers. I would say close to the end of the 3rd week is when things started to change, for the worse. My mother-in-law was watching over me at the time. I began to snap at her for no reason.
I cried all the damn time. Now I know most of this at the time was due to hormones and my body adjusting to the drastic change. But by the end of the six weeks I was like the Satan spawn of Hell.

I was screaming a cursing at my mother-in-law, calling her names. Demanding that my husband come from work. I also wanted my mom, but when my mom got there I did they same thing to her. Now I don't remember a lot of this, I'm going by what my husband has told me. I threatened to kill everyone including myself. Now to know me, I just am not that way at all. I mean I have attitude in the past but this was ridiculous. My mother-in-law left and so did my mom and my poor husband was left to bare the brunt of my rath. I'm not sure who made the appointment, me or my husband, but I had my first visit with a Psychiatrist. This was in November of 1999. That was when I got the blow of my life....She diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder...What??? Ok I was in shock, but the funny thing is I had no idea what it meant. I just knew it didn't sound to good. The Psychiatrist told me that sometimes when you have something traumatic happen to you it can trigger something in you, bring it to the surface. My hysterectomy is what did it for me. I look back now at my past and I can now say that yes I was Bipolar back then too. When I was a teenager. I had all the symptoms, all the quirks if you will...of Bipolar. I remember telling my mom once that I needed to see a Doctor, but she said I was fine and to go on about my business. When I was diagnosed she said she felt devistated because she should have listened to me back then. And that in a nutshell is how it all came about.

An Obsession

Okay so I'm a stumbler addict and upon stumbling one day I came across an amazing website. It was called "The lives they left behind" "suitcases from a state hospital attic".
What it's about
The story revolves around an insane asylum or by today's standards a mental institution. That was opened sometime around the turn of the century in upstate New York. It was home to over 54,000 patients by the time it had closed in 1995.
After it had closed it was discovered "in the attic" over 400 suitcases had been left behind, belonging to patience.
Here is the webpage
They put the suitcases on display in a museum in New York City and over 300,000 people came to see it.
And there is a book written too. And I just got my copy in today. The authors are Darby Penny and Peter Stastny. In the book they took 10 stories from 10 separate suitcases and wrote about each one.

It just absolutely fascinates me. I've always had this sorta macabre persona about me.
I mean for instance:
I love insane asylums - the older one with a history
I have an obsession with cemeteries
I used to watch "Faces of Death" videos
I love anything Horror on DVD
I'm obsessed with Death (not my death but with death itself)

Weird I know..but I'm not a satanist, a witch, or a pagan or anything like that...I'm just any ordinary housewife with too much time on her hands. Don't worry my only child is 19 so this won't affect him.

So anyway go to Amazon and buy the book.

Dreams???

Dreams???
I had a crazy dream last night. In fact I had a crazy dream the last couple of nights.
Dreams???
What are dreams anyway???
Why do we have them???
What are they???
Wikipedia says this:Dreams are the images, thoughts and feelings experienced while asleep, particularly strongly associated with rapid eye movement sleep.

Okay, well that doesn't tell me much.
I read somewhere that when your dreaming and there is some stranger in your dream that you have never seen before is in actuality someone you have seen before. It may have been from your childhood, someone that you saw for only a brief moment, but in that moment your brain registered it in long term memory...or whatever. Weird huh?

There are so many web pages out about dreams, it's hard to discern which one is worthy or not. Dream interpretation varies amongst individuals. It's really what you think your dreams mean.

Insomnia - You know I love it

Okay so one of the many side affects that go along with having a mental disorder is Insomnia. Actually that's not true some people sleep all the time. Just depends, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. Oh joy joy! I live my life by the almighty clock, tick tock...
When I am able to sleep it is usually for only 2-3 hours at a time. I'm up most of the night. I swear I'm like a vampire only I don't drink blood, just sprite. I have been on every sleeping pill known to man and none of them worked. I think I'm immune to all of them. Who knows...

In two weeks I go for what's called a "sleep study". We'll see what is going on in my head and the cause for my sleepless nights. It's also to check and see if I have sleep apnea. That's where you stop breathing in your sleep. My husband says I do that quite a bit. Pretty scary huh?

What is Bipolar???

What's Bipolar
Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic-depressive illness, is a condition that affects more than two million Americans. People who have this illness tend to experience extreme mood swings. These mood swings or "episodes" can take three forms: manic episodes, depressive episodes, or "mixed" episodes. All are very serious and should not be taken lightly.

Manic Episodes: elevated mood (feeling extremely happy), being extremely irritable and anxious, talking too fast and too much, and having an unusual increase in energy and a reduced need for sleep. It's also very common for someone to act impulsively during a manic episode, and engage in behaviors that are risky or that they later regret, like spending sprees. And in over half of all manic episodes, people are troubled by delusions or hallucinations. For example, they may think they have a relationship with someone famous, claim to be an expert in an area they really know nothing about, feel paranoid (unusually fearful), or hear voices that are not there.

Depression: The symptoms of a depressive episode often include an overwhelming feeling of emptiness or sadness, a lack of energy, a loss of interest in things, trouble concentrating, changes in normal sleep or appetite, and/or thoughts of dying or suicide.

Mixed: Includes both mania and depression symptoms of Bipolar.

What causes Bipolar Disorder???

The symptoms of bipolar disorder are thought to be caused by an imbalance of key chemicals in the brain. The brain is made up of billions of nerve cells that move a constant stream of information from one to the other. To keep the information flowing, the cells release chemicals known as "neurotransmitters." Two key neurotransmitters that are needed for brain function are dopamine and serotonin, which play a crucial role in emotional health.

Many scientists believe that when the levels of these neurotransmitters aren't quite right, it may result in bipolar disorder. For instance, too much dopamine in certain parts of the brain can cause symptoms such as delusions, while too little dopamine in other parts of the brain can cause symptoms such as a lack of emotion and energy.